Sun - August 10, 2003

Shaved .. the pictures!

At last, I can show you a few pictures of me now that I have removed my beard. I still look kinda funny, but not as bad as I thought I would. Whaddya think?

Posted at 01:21     Read More  

Hanging out with young girls

Anya and Yana are a pair of 18 year old girls with whom I've been hanging out lately. It's nice to have friendly pretty people with whom to have fun. Emotions run pretty light.

Posted at 01:20     Read More  

Sat - August 2, 2003

A lovely day at the Beach

So my translator, Victoria (short blond hair) invited me to come along with her and her friends (Olga on the right and Angela on the left) to the Black Sea to the beach for a day. We left Friday night and drove 1-1/2 hours in Angela's nice Suzuki sedan to a cafe where Victoria has friends and they helped us find a place to stay the night and we went out to the beach for the evening. Lots of Amusement park-like stuff; bars, cafes, restaurants, rides and every manner of food and drink and music. Quite a party.

In the morning, we had breakfast and spent the day at the beach proper, swimming and sunning. We left at 4ish. There was a great water slide and lots of small rentable boats and tons and tons of friendly people. Sorry - didn't take the camera to the beach except for a brief visit early in the morning before breakfast. Here is a larger picture and here are the pictures from the trip.

Posted at 11:37     Read More  

Wed - June 18, 2003

About Those lovely Israelis I met on the train...

Shani and Tsach and Reut and Oren were on the train from Budapest. They study veterinary science and biology. I was invited to a lovely breakfast this morning at Shani and Tsach's house and the five of us had a great time. It very very sweet of them and it felt very warm to have folks to talk to in English. (They all spoke Hebrew, too). They told me where to find the Veterinary College hotel and the tourist information shop downtown. They also explained to me that Yes, indeed, I could go into the downtown church.

Posted at 10:36     Read More  

Wed - May 7, 2003

Adam and Mo

Adam & Maureen are from Chicago. His parents also have a summer home in Scotland. She is a teacher. The two of them are living here and studying Spanish. They are very sweet and have been showing me around town a bit.

Posted at 08:32     Read More  

Fri - March 21, 2003

Elementary School

My friends Dezra and her ex-husband David have between them three daughters - Evi, Jessica & Alex who all attend Bandelier elementary school. Yesterday, the school held its annual parent's spigetti dinner and book sale. Dezra asked me to accompany her and it turned out to be a lovely experience. Never in waking memory have I been in a large room filled with so many adults and children and the energy was very sweet and brought me back to my own childhood and times that, although I could not consciously remember, still felt very connected. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the whole experience.

Posted at 11:05     Read More  

Wed - February 12, 2003

A new friend

Since the end of November, I have also been corresponding -intermitently- with a young woman from Kiev, Ukraine.

Elena works as a translator for a company which produces chickens for cooking. She has a wonderful boyfriend (Carlos) who used to be a pilot and they live together with her family. It has been interesting to share my feelings with her. Since I am still thinking about going to Ukraine in April or May for the summer, it is also nice to have a friendly contact there who knows me well enough to understand what I am searching for (at least, as well as I understand myself, anyway).

Posted at 12:00     Read More  

Tue - February 11, 2003

New friend

I received a reply to my yahoo personal ad a couple weeks ago. I've been corresponding with Marianne, a friendly pagan who lives in San Francisco and used to be a teacher. She has helped me figure out some very heavy things about my feelings lately, for which I am very grateful. I, in turn, have helped her begin to learn a little HTML.

In particular, although I have guessed for quite some time that my obsession with sex has been somehow closely related to feelings of starvation of early childhood nurtureance, discussions with Marianne have yielded far more precise new awareness.

Specifically, since my parents had no clue how to nurture me when I was small and I, as all babies instictively knew what I needed, I instead turned to the television. The creatures shown on TV, beautiful, slim white models, would look into my eyes and I could sit close enough to see their faces; something otherwise unknown to me. The only other people I can remember who ever bothered to look at my face close enough for me to actually see them besides my brother and sister (very occasionally) were my parents, who already prooved themselves untrustworthy emotionally. So the first time I feel really nurtured is with a lover. Hence, the obsession. Now that I know what is really going on in here, I feel much better prepared to go out in the world and get what I want and need. I still feel like I need extra nurturance, but this feeling is becomming less pronounced than it has been for many years, for which I am extremely thankful.

Posted at 12:00     Read More  

Tue - January 14, 2003

Why have I been engrossed in Harry Potter Fanfic lately.

The combination of lots of juicy adolicent sexual angst and classic orphan and early childhood abandonment issues are a fine lever to access my own internal stories. Since I cannot conciously remember any concrete details of my childhood, I'm trying to access the emotions directly by reading these stories. And, it's working quite well. I've spent quite a few of the past few days' crying.

Posted at 09:48     Read More