I see many personals ads seeking men who are "goal oriented". I have goals, but they no longer include making a lot of money. I have already done this, and I am tired of it. I was a computer programmer for over 21 years but now I am retired for a while. I live from a small pension, which is enough so I do not have to work as I travel.
Instead, my goals are to know myself, to remain healthy and strong, to grow spiritually, to learn to play musical instruments, to see the world and -most of all- to do it all in the happy company of my beloved partner, whom I have not yet found.
I intend to live a long joy-filled life with my lover, partner, friend, wife. She and I will both be honest with ourselves and each other, even when the truth is hard to tell and even harder to hear. She and I will be so affectionate, that we will seem to others as though we were teenagers. We will make love every day and sleep in each other's arms every night. We will share adventures, hardships, humor and disagreements with a warm smile and an open heart. We will spend each day learning about ourselves and each other with open arms and an open mind. When we are angry or hurt, we may each need time alone, but in the end, we will always talk or hold each other quietly.
I have unrefined tastes. I like to sing and dance and swim and walk. I do not like museums or theater, but I often enjoy cinema. I read fantasy and science fiction literature and technical journals. I like Harry Potter and JRR Tolkien. I love cats and horses and some dogs but I do not like snakes and insects. I enjoy many different kinds of folk music and rock and roll and baroque classical, but not so much other kinds of music. I strongly dislike opera, lying and yelling.
I like to ski and sail and kayak and camp and, of course, travel. I love garlic and onions but I do not like cyan or shellfish or coffee. I do not smoke, drink or do drugs. I am Jewish, long-haired, somewhat hippie, but devoted and very loyal and emotionally responsible. A friend reminded me to tell you that I am often too generous for my own good.
My eyesight is really bad. I cannot drive a car or see your face farther than 6 cm. I was born this way. The advantage is that I have learned to live life more bravely. Also, since I cannot see the faces of people, I assume they are all friendly and kind so I can walk down the street happy. Of course, they are not always friendly and kind, but as I allow myself to believe they are, so they become more so.
The disadvantage is that there are many social situations in which I function poorly since I cannot see people's faces. I cannot legally drive a car or pilot an airplane (although I have tried both) and my electronics soldering skills will always remain those of an advanced beginner, even though electronics has been one of my hobbies off and on since I was a child. Although I have always enjoyed literature, reading makes my eyes hurt if I do it for more than a hour or two at a time, so there are many interesting careers for which I am not suited.
At this time in my life, I feel a craving for a partner by my side. I imagine she and I will travel the world for a few years together, not as wealthy aristocrats, but as friendly church-mice. Then, when we have decided where we want to live or what we want to do next, we will live there or do that. I sometimes dream of eventually studying construction and building a house.
I have never been married and I have never had any children and I am not certain if I ever will. My experience of being one was not a good advertisement for raising my own children. Still, the world is much bigger than my small brain can see, so I do not say "I will never have children.", but instead, I say: "I cannot imagine it at the moment".
Since physical intimacy is so important to both my partner and I, the only way to find her is to meet her and for us to feel each other's presence and chemistry. I am 170 cm, 78 - 82 kg, 43 years old a scorpio, born in the year of the ox and although I would not mind shaving off my beard, I do not feel that I want to cut my long hair; I am proud of my appearance.
Here are a few details about precisely what my plans for the future include.
I am most often attracted to slim or petite women who are less than 38 years old, 155 to 170 cm and weigh less than 57 kilos. Of course, like many men, I adore long beautiful hair.
To enjoy my prolonged company, it is likely that a woman must be the sort who is considered brutally honest. Clarity is much more important than tact. I would rather be told that my fly is unzipped then spend an afternoon not knowing.
Also, a woman's emotional reaction to stress must either be gentle and loving or at least, honest and clear; (if not, ideally, both) even if she honestly yells at me sometimes and hates me for a while. (as long as the making up is worth it!).
Of course, the right woman for me is more likely to want to snuggle together often, especially during times of stress. Since I am the kind of person who needs regular cuddliing, it is unlikely that the right woman for me would not also need lots of tenderness too.
I especially admire a woman who has the courage to examine herself and her behaviors and feelings. Even if she does not know why she does something, if she is interested in discussing it calmly with me, and also, of course, discussing my feelings calmly, then we should get along quite well.
I admire bravery, self-questioning and joy and laughter. (I laugh at myself regularly). For instance, I enjoy dancing in such a way as to allow my body to move as it pleases in reaction to the music, without regard to the extent to which I appear foolish. It would not surprise me to learn that I look really stupid when I dance. I don't care. It would certainly be preferable for my partner to find this amusing and entertaining (and hopefully even want to do it too) rather than to be embarrassed by my company.
Since I am bad at saving money, it would certainly be convenient if my partner was better at it than me. Also, if she liked to drive a car, play guitar, swim or walk with me and teach me to work out in the gym regularly, that would be most helpful. Of course, if she wanted to learn to program computers, I would be thrilled to teach her.
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