How to Gain a Husband
by Annie Lore copyright 1987
from the Album, "The Grey Cocked Hat"

THE AUTHORIZED CORRECT VERSION

1. Oh, Sally rose up and she gave a sigh:
"I've heard them songs so why shan't I
Go dress myself in man's array?
For that's how to gain a husband.

2. "I'll listen for that 'ship ahoy',
Then I'll pack my duffel and be not coy;
For I will be a pretty cabin boy--
For that's how to gain a husband.

3. "I signed on board a bark so tall;
The captain said, 'you're neat and small;
You'll hardly take up any room at all-- '
And that's how to gain a husband.

4. "They made me swab, they made me scrub;
All day with the holystone I must rub,
And the mate standing over with a great big club--
That's not how to gain a husband!

5. "We had not been two months at sea
When the captain great favor showed to me,
And so my secret I revealed to he--
For that's how to gain a husband.

6. "The captain cried, 'can this be true?
Oh then, my dear, what shall we do?
For I am a woman, the same as you!'
And that's not how to gain a husband.

7. 'I too listened for that 'ship ahoy',
Then I packed my duffel and was not coy,
For I would be a pretty cabin boy--
For that's how to gain a husband.'

8. "Just then the first mate he burst in;
O first he gape and then he grin:
'You're women!' quoth he, and out he rin--
And that's not how to gain a husband!

9. "The captain cried, 'this never will do!
He'll tell the second mate and all the crew;
It's overside for me and you-- '
And that's not how to gain a husband!

10. "Out from the cabin we two then ran,
But the sight that we saw made us stop and stand,
For the crew were all women too, every man!
And that's not how to gain a husband!

11. " 'We all listened for that 'ship ahoy',
Then we packed all our duffels and were not coy,
For we would be all be pretty cabin boys--
For that's how to gain a husband.'

12. "We landed our cargo safe and sound,
Then another full load we straightway found:
A hundred young men for the colonies bound--
And that's how to gain a husband!"